Western literature has long noted the disconnection between perception and reality. In 1175, French monk Alain de Lille “Do not hold everything gold that shines like gold.” Geoffrey Chaucer and William Shakespeare carried this thought through The Canterbury Tales (1387-1400) and The Merchant of Venice (1596-1598), respectively. Now, centuries later, the division of what seems and the reality of what is continues to be a topic of fascination, especially as it pertains to interpersonal relationships. Most recently, Carmen Maria Machado’s memoir, In the Dream House (Graywolf, 2019), explores these themes where what may be romanticized as “perfect” to outsiders in reality was a stream of horrors of physical, mental, and emotional abuse. The book also provides a foundational basis for Kalia Vandever’s ‘In My Dream House,’ which her quartet – with Mary Halvorson, Kanoa Mendenhall, and Savannah Harris – will perform at Roulette on December 11, 2024.

Vandever is no stranger to the disparity between idealization and reality. A graduate of Julliard, the trombonist received a formal education in music that would be the envy of many. But while she learned significant lessons and forged great relationships there, her time at the University also had a dark side as she survived racism, sexism, sexual harassment, and misogyny. While her experiences differed from those of Machado, both share manifestations of an evil hidden by a glamorized perception. As the author found expression and release in the written word, Vandever has also found, at times, a similar solace in music. Thus, Vandever’s interest in In the Dream House is more than that of a casual reader. There is a connection to, and deeper insight into, the weighty themes addressed therein.

While the themes of “In My Dream House” are emotionally weighty, the audience will be fortunate to hear the artist address such raw and serious matters. Vandever’s solo work – including on her album, We Fell In Turn (AKP, 2023) – can emanate a melancholic beauty. Her music is often deeply lyrical, exuding humanity in a way beyond the strictures of her slide. And as a frequent collaborator with popular artists – including Lizzo, Moses Sumney, Jennifer Hudson, Japanese Breakfast, Demi Lovato, and Harry Styles – Vandever can draw upon a language that can convey emotion to a broader audience who more readily connects to mainstream culture. In many ways, the trombone is still a somewhat underexplored instrument in improvisation-based music, and Vandever is a refreshing voice on the instrument.

We sat down with Vandever to discuss the quartet, their upcoming performance at Roulette, and her solo work.

PostGenre: ‘In My Dream House’ is inspired by the memoirs of Carmen Maria Machado. How did you discover her book, and what inspired you to use it for this project? 

Kalia Vandever: A good friend recommended it to me. I read it earlier last year and was very captivated by how she framed her story in the format of a dream house. As kids, we think of our ideal life and ideal relationship. It’s framed as some kind of dream where everything comes easily. But, in reality, a lot goes into being an adult and finding how many things from your past or present come up in your everyday life. I found that difference very fascinating.

When writing this book of music, I was thinking about many things from my past. I think that I keep a lot of my own trauma within. Or I work through it by way of music and composition. I feel that, in general, I’m a pretty private person and work through a lot of my own grief through music. While writing the music, I also listened to a lot of melancholic music, and that kept working its way into the project. 

PG: Since you mentioned your trauma, you wrote “Token Girl” six years ago. In it, you address the horrors of sexual harassment, misogyny, and racism that you had experienced. Do you feel the evil that you encountered is the same evil behind domestic violence, or is it something different? 

KV: I think there is, in a way, a parallel between sexual harassment and domestic violence. Unfortunately, harassment occurred pretty regularly at Juilliard, to varying degrees. I had to suppress much of it while I was studying because I needed to survive and get through my time at school. In a way, it’s hard for me to define that period in my own head because it’s hard to think about it. But I think going through that and finding ways of coping and describing my experience to other people was a way of masking the horror. To most people, going to a school like [Juilliard] is magical. Good qualities and relationships came from that experience. But it was very challenging to get by and be able to learn in a place like that. 

PG: Some have said that the trombone is the instrument closest to the human voice. Do you feel like that connection between your instrument and voice gives you a particular ability to address your past or the issues in the book compared to an instrument that may be more removed from the human voice? 

KV: I would say that the trombone’s humanity is a trait of the instrument that I love the most. I think what ultimately led to me including my actual voice in my solo sets – not for this work for Roulette – is that connection. I think I’ve always gravitated towards the trombone because it’s a mode of my being expressive with my own voice. I have recently started writing lyrics and incorporating them into my live solo sets, and going between playing trombone and singing. Adding vocals felt like another way of opening up compositionally and emotionally. 

PG: Since you mentioned your solo performances, you are also working on a second solo record, correct?

KV: Yes, I actually just recorded it. 

PG: What do you feel changed the most since the first one, We Fell in Turn?

KV: The first record was all trombone aside from one piece where I incorporated my voice a little bit. But this new record also incorporates other instruments, including the piano, in addition to the trombone with effects. 

PG: You are also working on a quartet recording. Is that the same group as you will be presenting at Roulette or a different one?

KV: Yeah, it will be with this group. We have only had one gig as a group, but I am very excited to get in the studio with them. The book of music we will be playing was written specifically for these musicians. 

PG: What was your process for selecting these particular musicians?

KV: Well, Mary is a mentor of mine. I was paired with her through [New Music USA and Berklee Institute of Jazz and Gender Justice’s] Next Jazz Legacy program. I was a part of the first cohort a couple of years ago. Mary is someone that I have looked up to since I was in college. I had come in contact with her in New York but never worked with her before the program. Through the grant program, I was able to play some gigs with her, and we kept in touch since then. I had always wanted to write for her. I like writing for guitar in general, but I feel like I always have her instrumental voice in my head. It was very special to write these guitar-specific and melody-driven lines for her, and to hear her play them was incredible. 

PG: You are also in the group Clone Decay with Mary. Do you feel that experience comes into this project at all? 

KV: Not necessarily, because I feel both projects are specific to the musicians. Weston [Olencki] plays trombone and does live processing with us in Clone Decay. Weston plays a significant role in the performance of that music because a lot of it is improvised and processed in real-time. That approach won’t be a part of the quartet’s performance. 

PG: What about the other members of the quartet; how did they become a part of the group?

KV: I had played with Kanoa Mendenhall a few times previously. We’ve worked together through my project and on other people’s projects. I think she’s one of the best voices on the bass in our generation. I’m really glad she’s a part of this project. 

And for the gig at Roulette, we have Savannah Harris, who I also deeply admire. I’ve seen her play in several different settings. She’s incredibly versatile. But for the record of the quartet, we have Kayvon Gordon on drums. 

PG: In general, what is your process for composing? Is your approach the same for the quartet, as it is for your solo projects?

KV: It’s different for the quartet than my solo projects. For the quartet, I’m either composing on guitar or piano. I’ve been playing a lot more piano in particular. I’ll often record myself improvising in my studio and then take fragments of ideas from those recordings and turn them into larger compositions. For my solo project, much of my composing comes from playing the trombone and then building on top of what I do on the instrument. I would also say that for the quartet, I have started writing the inner voices before writing the melody on top. 

PG: You mentioned earlier how you wrote parts with the specific musicians in mind. Is there also a lot of room for improvisation? 

KV: In general, there is a lot of room for improvisation with the music that I’ve written and continue to write for the quartet. I’ve incorporated many improvised interludes and moments for specific members of the ensemble to branch out. There are a couple of pieces that are cyclical in the way the melody moves. These cycles are meant to be a baseline for improvisation, with only one melody played throughout, provided by either myself or Mary. 

I’ve recently been inspired by cyclical music, and I think that’s because, in my soul, I have played mostly indie music. I listen to a lot of music in that way and try to incorporate those ideas into the quartet setting to see how we can pass around these melodies. And you still need improvisation on top.

The Kalia Vandever Quartet will be performing ‘In My Dream House’ at Roulette on December 11, 2024. More information is available here. It will also be available via livestream.  More information on Kalia Vandever can be found on her website

Photo credit: Kiki Vassilakis